So it has come to this. You're desperate enough to turn to the lesbians for advice...
Well, you might have thought: Hey, they're women who fuck women, so they should know everything about what women like, right?
Right!
So fear not, my clueless friend, help is afoot. For within these pages you will find the secrets to everlasting sexual bliss, love and a grand, pussy-filled life.
It also contains light doses of Heavy Metal, a random Coldplay reference, Stephen King and a lot of dirty words. If any of these things will give you a rash, you might want to look for a different book.
So. Prick your ears and steer your prick, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once.
Ready? Let's begin!
Genre: SELF-HELP / Sexual InstructionMy first and (so far) only self-help book, more an experiment than anything. Still, got some sales.
In principle, sex isn't complicated. You get hot, you fuck, you get done with it. It's so simple, in fact, that typically every animal (humans included) are born with the instinctive desire to have sex and the innate knowledge of how to do it. Even if nobody ever would've had "the talk" with you and by some miraculous turn of fate you never had access to porn, you would still know what to do to hump your way through a fruitful and fertile life.
That doesn't mean you're good at it though. Lovers come in all forms of proficiency, yourself included. And like anything, when you start out with it, you'll be shit at it. So be prepared to be a shitty lover for a long time.
Lucky for you, though, sex is not a sport, so don't make it into one. There's no trophy to be had and it's not about how many times you cum, make someone cum, how many partners you have or anything else. There's no competition, nothing to win, no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
So why bother? Well, first off, because it makes you feel better about yourself. Good lovers have better sex, so if only for purely selfish reasons you should spend some time on self-improvement.
| Language | Status |
|---|---|
|
Dutch
|
Already translated.
Translated by Marlies Perman
|
|
|
Author review: Thank you very much. |
|
French
|
Unavailable for translation.
|
|
German
|
Already translated.
|
|
Italian
|
Already translated.
Translated by Giulia Mastrantoni
|
|
|
Author review: Very fast! |
|
Portuguese
|
Already translated.
Translated by Luiz Joaquim da Silva Neto
|
|
|
Author review: Very good. |
|
Spanish
|
Already translated.
Translated by SANDRA MORALES KOTT
|
|
|
Author review: Very well done, thanks! |
