If you really want to know what happened on the day Noah built that big old floating zoo you REALLY ought to talk to Uncle Bob.
While you are at it get him to fill you in on all of the inside information on what REALLY went on in the Garden of Eden - because he knows that too.
This is the story of the Old Testament as retold by the red flannel storyteller his-own-self - namely, Uncle Bob.
"I laughed until I cried." - Veronica Dorval
"One of the most refreshing interpretations of the Book of Genesis that I have read in a long while." - S.D. Hintz
"Jeff Foxworthy REALLY should have written the introduction." - Christine S. Tryon
True stories, truthfully told - with only a few lies sprinkled in for interest's sake.
Remember - God invented giggling.
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This whole thing started when he caught me running away from my Sunday School. I had stuck my hand up and asked to leave the room and then I had gone ahead and left the entire building – namely, our town church – and if I have any sort of say in the matter I might keep on going until I have put an entire continent between me and Sunday School.
You see – I had NEVER really understood that whole concept about having to go to school on a Sunday. I mean I already went five days a week for most of the year. Why in the heck did grown-ups think that a fellow really needed an extra day of schooling?
“I didn’t like it in there,” I told Uncle Bob. “The preacher kept on talking about loving your enemies and forgiving and such.”
“Well, loving and forgiving is important,” Uncle Bob said. “Especially when it comes to talking about your enemies.”
I shook my head.
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “Benny Jeeters is always pushing me around at school.”
“He’s a bully, all right,” Uncle Bob said. “His Daddy was before him, too.”
“Well how am I supposed to forgive THAT?” I asked. “The way I see it the only way I can truly forgive Benny Jeeters is maybe after I have snucked up behind him with a big old rock and maybe thumped him maybe thirteen or fourteen times – and then I might forgive him with a few kicks to the ribs and maybe show him my new baseball bat about five or six times fast before he could up and surprise-hit me back.”
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Italian
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Already translated.
Translated by Alya Hannah
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Portuguese
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Already translated.
Translated by Fabiana Rodrigues Castelo Branco
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Spanish
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Already translated.
Translated by Elda Parra
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