As I scroll through my “daily 5″ dating matches, computer generated just for me through match.com, I suddenly realize how much more discriminating I can be via web browser than I am in face to face interactions. Just the other night I handed over my telephone number to sweaty “Leaonard” a fellow nightclub patron who, I undoubtedly would have quickly selected the “not interested” option were his face and profile to show up on my “daily 5″. This is a prime example of how dating has changed.
Dating has become a chore- and like any chore, we are always working to find ways to work smarter, not harder. We look for ways to streamline the process. Long gone are the days of our parents and grandparents where the courting process is meant to be slow and where the men are expected to select one woman of their liking to court in hopes of marrying. People are dating just for fun these days and expectations are as unclear as ever.
According to Loveawake poll, 87% of twenty-something’s wanted to find their soulmate and get married, and believed that they would-someday. These days people are waiting longer to get married, college dating is no long what it once was, students focusing more on education and then careers before looking for a mate. The problem with this is that dating is like a full time job, it takes time, effort, and emotional investment to get to know and establish a relationship with someone, and frankly, people are becoming less willing to take the time and do so.
So what do they do? Everyone still seems to be looking for love, searching for their soulmate, and looking for answers as to why they haven’t found that person. New dating tools have emerged to help singles date in a society where everyone is looking for the next best thing and where the stigma, especially among young women is romantic disappointments.
Online dating has emerged as the most common and efficient way to meet other, eligible singles. It has replaced the need for awkward first meetings in a bar, or coffee shop and replaced it with people being more clear about what they want and don’t want. You can simply say “not interested” and scroll through to the next batch of possibles that the site generates for you based on what you said you were looking for. There are so many sites out there, now more niche sites as well to help you narrow down the massive pool of people out there to choose from.
Matchmaking has also become more well-known and accepted. This service is tailored to your specific needs and wants in a mate. Hiring someone to sift through the potentials for you and set you up on dates with them, most times providing coaching, and image consulting to help you be more desirable to the opposite sex.
Dating and relationship coaches have emerged with a fury as well. The need for someone to “help” in the dating process, or relationship process on the road to marriage has become common and needed in this society. People are more confused now more than ever when it comes to love and relationships, and the competition is fierce. A little help can go a long way- and in these times a little help is the only way.
Whatever channel you choose, it is still bound to take time and effort to make something work. Make your expectations clear, and ask others what theirs are, knowing what you are dealing with ahead of time can alleviate a lot of the confusion and hurt that comes from unclear or unmet expectations. And that goes for online dating or any other method you use!
Genre: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Love & Romance