Marlayna Glynn became an unlikely voice when she burst onto the literary scene with OVERLAY, the Next Generation prize winning memoir of her early childhood in 1970s Las Vegas. Then came ANGELES, the author's account of her dedication to constructing the life of her childhood dreams.
Here is the author's testimony about how the 'sins of the fathers' threatened her travels through a long-in-coming crippling depression. Readers will find AS ALL HELL an urgent enlightenment for adult children of alcoholics everywhere. In bold fashion featuring her lasered self-scrutiny and heartbreaking honesty, the author records the trials and surprises she faced when struggling with the double whammy of single parenthood and resultant clinical depression. Her dreams crushed, the author's prose creates a lasting impact on readers driven to understand the indelible effects of an unfortunate childhood upon adulthood.
Determined to rise above her early beginnings, the author does her best to raise four children alone, struggling to fill the roles of both mother and father. Her failed marriage, financial insecurities, and repeated firings due to her inability to balance work and motherhood threaten to drive the author down. Recognizing the only person who can save you is yourself, the author finally finds her voice, and through it – her strength: "I'm just one person with a story to tell, one person who once thought that a bad childhood provided an endless number of excuses for failure."
For the author, storytelling itself is the source of forgiveness – both of self and others, and in this book the journey to happiness - through forgiveness - is the ultimate redemptive mission.
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He's left before.
Surely this is just another phase of my relationship with my husband.
We will separate and we will get back together again. I know Chance very well and understand him better than anyone. I understand and appreciate his desire for freedom. I understand and appreciate that as much as I would like the same freedom, I've made the decision to dedicate my time to our four children. I would not have divided our family unit for anything short of violence or abuse and would have just found other ways to get my needs met.
But Chance is different, which is why I wanted to marry him in the first place. He is as different from me in just about every way a person can be different from another and I've always made my best efforts to appreciate our differences. How I have longed to be light and free like him! I have wanted to feel a glorious sense of detachment. I have wanted to love without pain. I have wanted to be able to separate one thing from another in my mind, and not exist in this soup that is a collection of thoughts, feelings, experiences, reality and fantasy. I have wanted to be able to see that one thing isn't working and to be able to just fix it without taking into consideration all the other things that would be affected by my action. I am incapable of these things.
As lonely, isolated and unhappy as I was within the confines of my marriage, I could not have taken any action that would have damaged my family unit. The unit came before my own needs. I could not have resigned my children to a life without a father in the home. Yet Chance was able to do so. His action continues to confound me - how could he leave his wife and four children?