There are a few things in this world we can always be sure of: There’s a rainbow after the rain, death is inevitable, there will never be another Bruce Lee— but if there’s one thing we can never be sure about, it’s women.
One moment she’s snuggling with you under the sheets and the next she’s yelling at you to get out of her place. What gives, really?
Well my dear brothers, it was something you said, which leads us to today’s episode of decoding the opposite sex: things to never say to a girl.
1. “What’s up with your hair?”
Hair isn’t just hair to her. If hers look different or a little off, don’t say it. She’s having a bad hair day already, don’t add insult to injury.
2. “Are you going to eat all that?”
Now you’re just asking for it. This is an extremely sensitive statement to your lady so if you want to keep going with her, don’t even vomit those words. And yes, she will eat all that, er, maybe.
3. “Don’t take this the wrong way but…”
Oh, boy. How else is she supposed to take it now? Surely you can come up with a better introduction to whatever you’re about to say next, right?
4. “Is this your time of the month?”
While we can all agree that this is probably the seventh stage of hell that we have to go through every month, we shouldn’t be asking her that. Don’t use her hormones as a reason for her being extra sensitive bordering to loonie.
5. “You’re crazy!”
Blurting out this statement won’t make things any better. In fact, you just asked for World War III once you do. Telling her she’s crazy would only make her think you don’t try and understand her somehow. And that you’re crazy.
6. “My ex used to…”
Hold it right there, mister. Nothing ticks your girlfriend off than telling her stories about your previous love affairs. Keep the comparison to yourself. How would you feel if she compared the size of your Johnson to her ex’s?
7. “Yeah, she’s hot!”
Whether she lured you into a question or you suddenly say it during a casual stroll in the mall, this statement’s about to get you in BIG trouble because you’re about to make her feel insecure. The next time she asks if you find a certain girl cute or hot, be quick and find a fault. “Her nose is a bit off” is better than “She’s got a big rack!”
So unless you want your girl raining down all hell on you, best to remember never drop these bombs on her.