NEXT MORNING
When I woke up near noon, she was still asleep, exactly as she had been, dried cum all over her, making her skin look crusty.
I got dressed and made coffee. The smell of the coffee or the sound of the urn churning might have woken her up, and she came into the kitchen and looked at me, seeing the face under the mask for the first time. She looked shocked, and immediately ran for the clothes hamper to retrieve her Alice dress.
"What's wrong?" I asked her, following her around.
"I'm sorry, I have to leave."
"Do you need me to drive you anywhere?"
"No, I just have to go. I'm sorry, this won't work out."
"Can you tell me what I did wrong at least?"
She began to put her dress back on, and explained: "You talked. You're out of your suit. Last night was perfect, until I got here. You live in a normal apartment. You look like a normal guy. You are normal. You didn't fuck me again last night."
"I didn't want to wake you," I said.
"Yeah, you care. You shouldn't. I wanted you to control me forever. I wanted you to have your way with me. I wanted to serve you until you grew tired of me, then I hoped you'd kill me."
"Say that again?"
"Now I've lost my virginity to the wrong guy. I lost it to a normal guy, just somebody who likes to be freaky on the weekends. I thought you were the one, and I gave myself up to you, but you're not the master I was looking for."
She marched to the door as quickly as she could, although she was still limping, and clearly still sore.
"Goodbye," she said, and left.
So that's it. I don't know how to explain her motives. I don't know how to explain what happened then. Maybe she had some psychological problems. I suspect so anyway. I can't explain anymore than what she told me: she wanted to be someone's sub for life.
I don't understand what her world view could possibly have been to think she'd ever find the right guy. I think I was probably the closest she would ever come, but, like she said, I just pretend. And she had been holding out, had never had normal sex, and she had probably never even given a blowjob before me - and she waited for some guy to take her virginity away by force.
I don't even think she had gotten any pleasure from that night. I don't recall her having an orgasm, and I think the only reactions I ever got from her were of discomfort and pain. She smiled once or twice, only slightly, as if to hide it, so maybe she was getting something out of it that I just can't fathom.
I'll never know, because I never saw her again. I still go to Bedaism on weekends, but she has never shown up. I think that even if she wound up with another guy that night, she would have been just as disappointed come morning. Sometimes I question myself and wonder if I could have grabbed her before she left and tried to get her help, or even if staying in my costume would have kept her happy. I'll never know what could have been with my little Miss Alice.
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