The widespread stereotyping and discrimination against people who are single has long gone unrecognized, unnamed, and unchallenged. Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., calls it SINGLISM. In this collection, she defines singlism and shows where it is lurking in the workplace, the marketplace, and the media, in advertising, religion, and pseudoscience, in our universities and professional societies, in laws and policies, and in our everyday lives. Dr. DePaulo takes on the issue of why singlism persists - often without apology or even awareness - at a time when so many other isms are considered shameful. Drawing from social science research, she also explains why the simple statement, "I am happy," when uttered by a person who is single, can elicit paroxysms of hostility, denial, and scorn.
"Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It" also includes contributions from a wide range of authors, experts, activists, and cutting-edge thinkers. They share their understandings of singlism and their stories of standing up to it, and they inspire us all to live our lives fully and joyfully. The book also includes a section on singlism's cousin - the stereotyping and stigmatizing of adults with no children.
The book has sold steadily in both paperback and as an ebook since it was published in 2011. "Singlism" has been mentioned in prestigious publications such as The New York Times and Boston Magazine.
It’s different being single. Different from what other people expect your life to be like. Different from what gets celebrated in the headlines and starring roles, and in the everyday lives of couples. For me, as a 57 year-old woman who has always been single, a lot of the difference is joyous. I love my single life. I am, in fact, single at heart.
There is, though, another side to the difference. The dark side. That’s the wide-ranging stigmatizing of adults who are single – the negative stereotyping of them and the discrimination against them. I call it singlism. Reverend Mark Almlie, in his contribution to this collection (see #19), offers this apt analogy: “Prejudice is like a cockroach: It is able to get into the smallest places, and it is very hard to kill.”
With regard to the more familiar prejudices such as racism, sexism, heterosexism, and ageism, the lights are on. We can see those nasty little critters scurrying about, and we know just how creepy they are. It’s different with singlism. (See #9.) The humans are stumbling around in their pj’s, still in the dark. Try to reach for the light switch and someone will grab your hand, admonishing: “Move on, there’s nothing to see here. Nothing to see here.”
Are you among those who prefer to dwell in the dark? Or maybe you are one who believes that there really isn’t anything to see here. If you are, well let me tell you, you have lots of company. I named the bias of singlism to make it more recognizable, in hopes that every time the word was uttered or read, a puff of old-fashioned consciousness-raising would waft through the air. Sometimes that happens.
